It would have been wonderful if I had the chance to make him feel how much i love him. I never had the chance to cuddle his little frail body, never had the chance to even carry him in my arms. I never had the chance to see his eyes and know their color for they closed before I could even had a glimpse of him looking back at me. I never saw his smile, it could have been a most rewarding experience. They only told me hours later that he did not make it and I saw him when he was all blue. I couldn’t move as I was in pain mostly due to complication brought about by my CS operation. How I wish I had the chance to at least whispher to him how much I love him. How I wish I heard his speaking voice, I heard him cry out loud but it was brief before I passed out while giving birth but that was my only memory of the sound of his voice as his life was cut short. He was taken away from us so soon. Though it had been 20 years since, it seems like only yesterday.
If only he had lived, I would have been the happiest mother to have three beautiful children. I don’t even know where he lies now after what they did to his grave. It breaks my heart to know that the cemetery administration did not bother to inform us and give us the chance to transfer his remains to a proper resting place where we could visit him before they proceeded to build those level niches.They robbed me of the chance to even offer candles and flowers on his grave.
To my baby Earl, my little angel, I love you dearly and you will forever be in my heart. I’m very sorry son if we were not able to put you in a better resting place, but where you are now I am sure it is the best place to be where you are joined by Lolo Amon and Lola Naty. I am sure you are much better off in that place. I just wish you remember us when it is our time to join you. I love you more than you’ll ever know!
